[	How I Feel	|	angry	]
[	I'm Dancing To	|	no music	]

                    +CUNTS+

im off to basketball.then to get so drunk i cant see.thanks parents.once again you've fucked me up.i hate you both.really.i do.so much.hope you both go die.picking on me wont solve your goddam problems.and it wont make me lose weight.so why continue with this bullshit?its been ten years and you still cant get it through your thick heads.I DONT GIVE A SHIT IF IM OVERWEIGHT CAUSE IM HAPPY.MY WEIGHT MAKES YOU UNHAPPY?DEAL WITH IT CUNTS.*sigh*love yas all.i feel a slight overdose coming on.yay.

[	How I Feel	|	artistic	]
[	I'm Dancing To	|	the get up kids ~ red letter day	]

just a quick one. could say im not in the mood to post a long entry but that would be an utter lie. i have nothing to do other than listen to get up kids and freeze myself to death while chatting to a couple of randoms and search for jobs i will never apply for. i also love going onto hot topic and putting every second pair of shoe laces and arm warmers on the wish list knowing full well that i wont become a member and i dont have a credit card.hehehe. "will you be my valentine from a world away. apologies breaking me. constants arent so constant anymore".

i didn't sleep last night. i think that makes it a total of 6 hours sleep this week. i dont feel tired but i know i look it.
accidentally went for a long walk home from the station. what was meant to take 15 mins took 40 something because i thought 'hey, ill be really shifty and smart and take a detour'.

hahahaha flicky you fucktard...

got basketball tonight for anyone thats not interested.
duaney you owe me 7 bucks for the subway LOL mmmmmm subway!
you better all be coming to myne and jessy's birthday.
xXflickyXx

p.s. new member of the mutilated toys to be exhibited soon. he just needs his guts ripped apart and some small knives in his arms..

[	How I Feel	|	frustrated	]
[	I'm Dancing To	|	motley crue	]

so i'm light headed and bored
was meant to hang out with nick today but i don't think that'll happen
got dog tags so now im an army bitch
new photos with my boy to post when i get a chance to scan them

DUANEY WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU AND WHY WONT YOU ANSWER YOUR DAMN PHONE OR MESSAGES YOU CUNT?!?!?!

You pick three people- I have to choose one to marry, one to push off a cliff and one to have sex with. <== better do that somewhere in your reply to this post or i shall castrate you with a rusty fork...

West Coast kicked Brisbane by 70 points IN BRISBANE. oh we are SO much better than everyone haha

++my bum crack is becomming somewhat of a crevas (crevass?)... is that a bad thing? it feels kinda hot. ANYWAYS....

you know what? dad's an asswipe. seriously. he's such a fucking cunt. was MEANT to play basketball tuesday night but we got into a massive fight in the car. he then decided to pull over, hit me and scream at me for half and hour. So i missed basketball and i hate him for it. I also hate him for trying to push me inbto doing stuff that i don't want to do and for rubbing his every tiny fucking success in my face. So here's something i wrote Tuesday night when we got back from our drive [[edit: i was on a two hour train ride the second i got home cause i had to get out of here]];

9:50pm 26/4/2005

you dont have to scream
ive heard it all before
how im such a fucking failure
could've amounted to so much more

with expectations set so high
and a conscience in its place
every time you yell
i cover up
my dirty fucking face

im your daughter
im a failure
im nothing compared to you
but im your daughter
dont you love me?
isnt that what fathers supposed to do?

dont you sit there
dont you tell me
that the world is harsh and tough
you think i dont know that?
you think im happy?
well daddy
i've had enough

usually it is my understanding or belief that my true friends and family will love me no matter who i am, how i look or what i do. but for some reason i dont believe that anymore. my family [[parents and brother]] only love me when i achieve or when i put effort into my appearance or when i date someone who they approve of. the only member of my family who loves me no matter what is my grandpa and that's cause he has years and years of experience behind him and he KNOWS that the person on the inside is always going to be there. As for my friends, well, im not going to slag them off on some stupid internet website cause id much rather do it to their fucking faces, so if you get a call/visit from me and i go ape shit at you then you know why. okay?

hope you all have a drink for me tonight seeing as i have nothing to do and nobody to drink with. </3

bye

xXflickyXx

[	How I Feel	|	cheerful	]
[	I'm Dancing To	|	The Cranberries ~ Linger	]

riding alone in the passenger seat
a single bloody tear drags along my cheek

we see the light long before the sunrise

and in that instance

i want to break you

rip your limbs from your shrivelled up body
smash the window with my scull and watch as the shards of light peaking through

searching

you only ever wanted what was best for you

i never asked

i never wanted

i never tried                   to change you..